Why You’re Not Having the Sex You Want
Awf The RecordPlay episode
Show notes
This is not just a sex talk- it’s a whole intimacy intervention.
In this jaw-dropping, laugh-out-loud, deeply healing episode of Awf The Record, Jeannette and Mona welcome licensed couples & sex therapist Marissa Nelson to the group chat… and let’s just say: nothing was off limits.
From the orgasm gap to scheduling sex, soul ties to underwater escapades (yes, really), Marissa breaks down the myths, mindsets, and cultural taboos keeping Black women from fully experiencing pleasure. We talk sex after kids, religious shame, kinks, communication, and why so many of us are having the sex we think we “should,” instead of the sex we actually want.
💬 We Talk About:
Why your sex life might feel disconnectedThe truth about the orgasm gap (and how to close it)Sex after childbirth and healing your desireScheduling sex and still keeping it sexyNavigating shame, church trauma, and purity culture“Awkward intimacy” and why it’s the keyWhy performance isn’t the same as pleasureTalking about kinks, even when they’re tabooHow women can initiate from a place of powerTips to bring play, curiosity, and joy back into your bedroomWhether you're partnered, healing, curious, or just trying to reclaim your own pleasure, this episode is for you.
KEY POINTS
-You receive the pleasure you think you deserve.
- Scheduling sex doesn’t kill the vibe
- Shame is a pleasure blocker, especially for women
- Sexless marriages are more common than you think.
- FYI, good lovers aren’t born… they’re trained.
- Real intimacy? It leaves room for awkwardness
- Navigating media influence and sexual expectations
- (TMI) Kinks and other unconventional sexual preferences
- Helpful ways to enhance your sex life!
- A woman’s orgasm is really important
QUOTES
“Wherever you feel uncomfortable with sex, it is an invitation to level up.” – Marissa Nelson
“I think it also speaks to this expectation, particularly for men, that you have to naturally be good at it.” – Jeannette Reyes
“We're not having the sex that's worth desiring. We're just not having sex that is erotic enough for us to want it.” – Marissa Nelson
“A lot of times, we know in sex how to say what we don't want. We don't always know how to say what we do want, or what you do really well, or what you do really well. We don't always praise each other when they get it right.” – Marissa Nelson
GUEST RESOURCES
Marissa Nelson
Website: https://www.intimacymoons.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@xomarissanelson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xomarissanelson/
RESOURCES:
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Mona Kosar Abdi
IG | @monakabdi
Jeannette Reyes
IG | @msnewslady
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